XVI

THE CHANGING OF THE MISTRESS

We visit the residence of the Ruling House of Herttach, a mansion of most singular design and construction, thereby to observe and discuss the function of highest nobility within The Island of Herttach. Furthermore we are privileged to witness the ceremony of The Changing of The Mistress.

THE TRAVELLER. The following morn we rose a trifle later than was our usual custom and twas past the eleventh bell before we ventured forth, our Solar Cab easing a way through the traffic, the driver following a path along little known by-ways to accelerate our passage towards our intended destination, this being the residence of The Ruling House of Herttach. I was most anxious to observe at first hand, with the twinned intent of combining an appreciation of architecture with improving my knowledge of the customs of The Ruling Household, much of my travels prior to this time having been visiting nations that profess republican values.

Noon had been reached when we arrived at the domain of The Ruling Family, outer walls surrounding extensive gardens, wherein at a middle point, was situated a building of most singular appearance. Cuboid in shape, each face not less than five hundred metres in width, rising to more than on hundred metres in height. Even from a distance I could discern the edifice was constructed almost entirely from glass, vast panes of which were fixed in a framework of cast-iron and stanchions, the whole pleasingly reflecting the morning sunlight.

The driver guided our transport through the principal entrance of the outer walls and soon we found ourselves coming to a halt on a Solar Cart Parking Ground of which there were many, almost all filled to capacity with carriages of every style and dimension. Needs scarcely be mentioned that a place for our Solar Cab had been reserved in advance of our coming. Albert exchanged a few words of instruction with our chauffeur indicating that we should make the rest of our way on foot, joining the throngs of other sightseers wending their way towards closer proximity within The Palace environs. I remarked to Albert as to the size of the assembled throng and further said that it must be concluded that the Ruling House must be the object of bountiful esteem and affection within the bosom of the populace large to attract so great a number.

ALBERT. “Tis True Sir, that the lives of the Ruling Family are a constant source of wonderment and interest to the peoples of the realm. Such numbers are most usual, though an even greater concourse will be in attendance on this specific day, it being set aside for the ceremony of The Changing of The Mistress.”

THE TRAVELLER. I will not conceal from you this last remark intrigued me greatly, though I held to my own council knowing well from earlier occasions that Albert habitually unravelled apparent enigmas for my benefit without much undue prompting.

Coming closer to The Palace I observed the building was on all sides surrounded with raked wooden-galleries, each topped with striped multi-hued canopies, affixed there for spectators comfort and utility. Most of the extensive seating was filled even beyond the limits of comfort, liveried attendants indicating the few places that were vacant, and blocking off the path of those who might be so crass as to approach The Palace beyond what must be held to be a respectful distance.

Albert gave sight to one of the attendants some official warrant he carried on his person, the response a respectful salute, in deference, I assumed to his rank, and thus being freed from the rules that constrained the many, we were enabled to slowing walk around the entire circumference of The Palace building along the lawned and meticulously mown grounds that separated the viewing galleries from the exterior façade of the noble mansion.

Close by now I could see that my assumption that the building was mainly constructed from glass was a true reflection, though curiously every single window-pane was screened on the inside by means of voluminous red-velvet curtains, the rich fabric of which was decorated in gold wire with heraldic devices. Concluding three complete circuits around the entire perimeter and looking from glass walls to the multitudinous crowds overflowing the observation galleries, we halted to rest a while sitting on two splendid chairs provided by an attendant who observed our coming and I assume anticipated our arrival. After taking a moment to regain breath and composure I pressed Albert to relate to me the history of this remarkable monument, the cunning of architecture, explain to me the reason why so large a throng gathered daily only to look intently upon endless vistas of tightly drawn red-velvet curtains.

ALBERT. “In past time Sir, twas customary that The Ruling House lived a life of discretion and concealment from the common gaze. Little was known about their daily lives, the mode in which their time was passed, wither official business, or moments of recreation and amusement. They made a public presence only on occasions of pomp and state ceremony, then only remotely, to be fleetingly glimpsed inside The State Solar Carriages or standing upon some distant high-raised balcony. Tis difficult to know exactly when Sir, but alterations in these age old ways commenced albeit slowly. Why? Tis Sir, hard to answer with precision. Whatever cause The Ruling Family began to fulfil a more active and public role, this proving a welcome distraction, for the publick, diverting eyes and minds from heeding the multifarious concerns that afflict the body politick. The condition of trade. The strength of the exchequer. Administration of city government. War and peace with other nations. I ask you Sir why should the populace in general need carry the burden of such concerns, when these matters can be attended to by those whose choice it is to devote their lives to such all consuming issues. Give most people occasion to choose between casting a glance upon the light and effervescent as opposed to darker matters and I will wager in advance without fear of loss what will be their choosing.”

Government of all colours, desire least, an attentive citizenry.

The Minikin Blue Book. Saw XIX

The Ruling House assumed a more public role. Gracing with their presence, Grand Fetes, Gala Occasions, Sporting Events. Younger members of the family, were oft seen frequenting select Eating Chambers, Fashionable Assemblies where music was performed on instruments and popular songs warbled. The Smallsheets, and hard to, even the Broadsheets, took to publishing accounts of these aforesaid activities with ever greater frequency, until such topics filled a goodly proportion of their pages daily, and most particularly became the central topic for the news sheets published to be vended on the seventh day of each week. Soon, engravings of added a visual note to worded descriptions. The public was rightly perceived to have an insatiable appetite for written and pictorial depiction of the doings and goings on of The Principal Family of the nation.”

THE TRAVELLER. I interjected that it must continue to remain so if one was to judge only from looking across the vast assembly that now ringed The Palace on every side. Though I could not but confess as to much confusion as to why such vast numbers should wish to sit and look at a glass building the entire interior view of which was screened off to them by red velvet drapery?

ALBERT. “It will Sir come as no small surprise to you when I tell you that this magnificent building was designed and its construction overseen by that native genius who was responsible for the construction of The Malleable Statistical Engine and sundry other most important mechanical devices. The notions that shaped it were indeed Sir without any doubt a logical step, the affairs of The Ruling House arousing a never ending plethora of interest in the daily and weekly journals, in both city and provinces, and most particularly in those bleaker regions of The Kingdom we ourselves so recently observed at first hand.”

THE TRAVELLER. The silence of anticipation settled across the crowded galleries, such stillness within this huddled mass of humanity that the very birds could be heard to sing in the trees that edged the parkland. Every man, woman and child in the gallery behind our own vantage point looked up as one towards a gigantic window-frame set on the second level of The Palace. The red velvet curtains seemed to flutter for an instant and then began to slowly open, the widening gap between the two fringed edges arousing a rising tremor of excitement within the observing crowd.

Trumpets sounded a fanfare. Then one attendant, a tall well-made person, more richly attired than his fellows, moved out from the throng and facing the expectant audience, in a pleasing well modulated voice announced “The Royal Personage will commence her luncheon.”

The curtains now completely opened provided all with the opportunity to gaze upon the interior of a most resplendent chamber. Seated graciously at a dining-table fashioned in a gilded and florid ormolu style was the exalted person, Tiara of State on her brow, gowned in white-satin worked with countless seed-pearls, around her fair throat a necklace set with rubies, emeralds, and diamonds of the finest cut and quality. Attending upon her a bevy of lushly attired servants, moving gravely from side table to dining-table, bearing gold plates and tureens, gilded porcelain, crystal goblets, a jewel encrusted salt-cellar, all those essentials needed to ensure a person of such noble birth be able to dine in a manner appropriate to her station.

The voice of The Herald rang forth again “The Exalted Personage will taste the first course; Pottage of Asparagus prepared with cream and slivers of white truffle.” The people in the galleries murmured appreciation and approval as with a single voice, having been served a ladle full, raised her golden soup-spoon, embossed with the arms of the household, to her lips. And thus progressed a repast comprising numerous and elaborate dishes. “The Roast Duck.” declaimed the herald. “Strawberry Fool. Cheeses from the board.” Her every mouthful was observed with fascination by the spectators. Whispering in Albert’s ear I confessed that never in my life had I ever been party to such an entertainment. He nodded with assent at what he took to be mine approval and ready appreciation.

The luncheon took no less than two hours and scarce a single person sitting or standing in the galleries moved his place or uttered a syllable. In conclusion a dish of coffee having made its penultimate journey to touch the lips of the exalted diner, the red velvet curtains began slowly to close and with this a rising volume of claps and verbal approval swelled up from the audience behind me, their shouts of pleasure and appreciative cacophony almost drowning out the voice of The Herald announcing “Dinner will be served at seven of the hour.”

When the red velvet curtains had been again closely drawn thus concealing the interior of the room, within the space between The Palace walls and the audience, a long shutter set neatly in the well tended turf, rolled silently open to reveal a trench about two metres in width and running parallel to the whole length of the galleries. Obviously well versed, all those about and behind me began to take coin from pockets and money-purses, and then proceeded to throw them into the maw of the aperture. This continued for some minutes until a large store of coin was heaped up in the trench and only then did the shutter move for a second time to cover and secure the tribute.

ALBERT. “I tell you Sir, coin freely given in this manner amounts to no less than Sixty Million Herttach Crowns per annum, monies for the personal use of The Ruling House of Herttach without tax being required to lessen the sum. What greater example can there be of monetary affection between those who are ruled and those who are their rulers?”

THE TRAVELLER. Albert bade me rise and directed me by my elbow to another section of the palace walls where other curtains parted in the manner similar to that which revealed the consuming of luncheon. We were privileged to watch a male personage complete his ablutions and have his wig powdered and fitted. The eldest son eat toasted muffins and jam whilst reading a popular work of fiction. A stately female most senior by virtue of age, having her long golden locks coiffured and her finely boned cheeks rouged. So it was over a period of several hours, I in the company of so many others, were able to observe at near hand all the activities formal, informal, and intimate, the Noble Family embarked upon that day.

Towards the six o’clock bell a certain weariness began to envelop me, though I must admit it was not shared by the pressing and ever growing crowds of people ranged about me. Albert, sensing my mood, informed me the most important affair of the day was about to commence, The Changing of The Mistress.

ALBERT. “Beloved above all others is The Prince o The Third Province. A sturdy, lively, sporting fellow. A man with an appreciation for a fine glass of wine. A sound mug of ale. The niceties of boiled leg of lamb with caper sauce. Most particular delighting in a fine well turned knee and graceful posture. The public never seem to weary of knowing of his opinions and Smallsheets print font page headlines out in large type

WILL HE MARRY THIS YEAR OR NEXT YEAR

WAS SEEN LAST NIGHT SUPPING AT THE PEACH BLOSSOM EATING CHAMBERS.

WILL A FOREIGN HEIRESS WILL BE HIS CHOICE

and much similar, both respectful and scurrilous.

The Broadsheets to have less frivolous views to disseminate.

HE AND THE CONSTITUTION OF HERTTACH

HE STATES A CASE FOR NEW SOLAR CART WAYS

HE PRONOUNCES HIS VIEWS CONCERNING THE ROLE OF THE SUN IN THE UNIVERSE WHEN HE BECOMES THE PREMIER PERSONAGE

HE DISLIKES THE NEW

Thus we arrive at what you are about to witness, The Changing of the Mistress. On this day of each month he changes his mistress. Such is the honour the very best families in the land put forward their daughters to fill this role. Even then tis only after rigorous examination of these proffered maidens for physical, mental and moral attributes are but a small number selected. It is a cause of much rejoicing within their families knowing that having such recognition bestowed will raise their worth in the eyes of society to vertiginous heights.”

THE TRAVELLER. Albert seated us in front of a gallery much larger than those adjacent and equipped in finer richer style. Looking upwards I saw a window of massive proportions set in a framework of intricate design, with cupidons, scenes from the grape harvest and other pagan depictions carved into it. The curtains also made of red velvet, the coat of arms of The Third Province woven into the cloth with gold and silver threads and needlework of the finest quality.

Hard on the sounding of the hour, fifty trumpeters strode out on to the turf that separated galleries from the window and with a flourish made perfect by dint of long practice, gave forth a fanfare of such crystalline sweetness, it raised on the skin those protuberances popularly described as duck mounds.

A tall and manly retainer, stripped to the waist, took up a massive clapper and approached a gigantic brass-gong hung in an ebony-frame of oriental design, his oiled torso glistening, he struck the metal disc, the resultant vibrations assailing our senses like thunder. The vast assembly of spectators sighed in unison, overcome I assumed with anticipation of what they were about to witness. The curtains inside of the window glass started to open almost imperceptibly, then wider and wider to lay before us in all its splendour a fabulous chamber filled with fine furniture, tapestries, paintings, selves of richly bound volumes. Sitting at a loll in the midst of this display, He at his ease on a large cushioned arm-chair. Standing before him with head slightly bowed and facing him, The Mistress whose period of tenure was about to be ended, a dainty trifle with a head of fair curls. Solemnly she proffered a finger and He, scarcely stirring himself from his comfortable posture, kissed it lightly without even glancing up at the fair supplicant. This done she turned one neat foot and without even a single glance behind her made her exit through a door at the rear of the chamber.

The Gong Master struck his metallic disc for a second time and of an instant the double doors to the right of the room where thrown open by unseen hands. The Mistress for the coming month, a young maid with dark locks tumbling down her back, a diamond circlet resting upon her brow, walked in with dignity, He, regarding her for a moment, without undue relish I thought, and with scarcely a look in her direction, touched his lips on to back of her alabaster hand in token greeting.

The crowds about me overflowed with an enthusiasm that had until this point been restrained. Hats flew in the air. “Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!” they shouted as the curtains slowly closed concealing He and his new mistress. the gong sounding a final note with a force that rattled the fabric of the building.

Herttach Crowns coins flew through the air and into the waiting money-trench below the galleries. Combining with huzzars and cries of joy, the coin of The Kingdom of Herttach winged a way through the air like a dense flock of tiny circular swallows.