X

THE MALLEABLE NUMBER ENGINE A DEVICE OF INDIGENOUS INVENTION

We make a visit to The Government of Herttach Office of Official Statistick to see the workings of The Malleable Number Engine a device of indigenous invention.

THE TRAVELLER. Rising early next morning, quickly the donned garments I considered appropriate for that day and went down to join Albert in the dining-chamber. After breakfasting in the full Herttach style, a great platter filled with griddled meats, blood pudding, and eggs. On the hour a Solar Cab which had been commanded on our behalf by The Housekeeper arrived to transport us.

Albert after giving some instruction as to the time of our return, we were borne off through a confusion of traffic, eventually reaching The Official Office of Statistick. It was a large building with a frontage built in a neoclassical style, occupying a fine situation hard-by the banks of the principal river of The Capital. To the front, a courtyard spanned its entire length, an area surrounded by a high-wall on whose top spikes of iron were affixed. We halted before the ornate iron gates which barred our entry until the gate keeper, whose alacrity in effecting the opening of these barriers, gave me pause to think that our arrival was not unexpected. The gates open, our Solar Cab rolled into the courtyard and we stepped down, the gate-keeper touching the brim of his hat with a respectful salute. The parking ground were marked out with spaces reserved for the use of official Solar Carts, each one carefully identified with a numbered plaque screwed to the wall beside it. Albert dismissed our driver, first giving him instructions as to at what hour he must return to convey us to another destination. Albert, who by this time I began to realize was no mere Travellers Guide but someone of importance, led our way up the marble steps where the massive entrance doors were pulled open by liveried attendants thus permitting our access into the interior of the building. After a brief word in the ear of a Senior Attendant, we crossed the marble floor to mount a curving staircase, the balustrade of which was decorated with statues of fantastical beasts from mythology, Albert made a directly to a room situated on the second level, there confronted by a handsome door constructed from solid oak, he took a key from an inner pocket and unlocking the portal opened it and indicated that I follow him inside.

Dominating all else in the centre of a large room stood an engine of impressive dimensions. How can I describe it with proper attention to detail that might convey just a hint of the mechanical presence it displayed. This machine stood four metres high and I would estimate the square area of a cross section must have measured no less than thirty square metres. Its construction was of the metal, brass, some other rarer minerals, the nature of which I could not immediately identify, played their part in the totality of its assembly. On the side of the machine opposite to the door a brass-plate was fixed, engraved with scroll work, the inscribing hand showing craftsmanship of a high-order, the following information was imparted.

THE MALLEABLE NUMBER ENGINE. TYPE VI

Around the perimeter of the machine a number of working desks jutted out from the main structure, convenient in height to allow a clerk or operator to sit and work in comfort. Albert took me to an unoccupied position and sat down, first placing a chair for my use close by his own and then commenced to expound about the marvels of the machine, the workings of which he appeared to enjoy a profound knowledge.

ALBERT. Sir, you will recall our conversation concerning the subject of the method of calculating numbers relevant to the workings of The State and society in general. The instance mentioned by yourself was The Compilation Of The Tables Of Numbers Of Those Persons Without Gainful Employment. You expressed some astonishment as to my reply, your doubts unanswered, I being content to postpone a fuller explanation until this moment.”

Running his fingers lightly over the surface of the desk and control-buttons “Let me tell you first of something of the history of this mechanical wonder. Before its invention, devised and constructed by a mechanic of native wit and genius, all official numbers, their recording, manipulation, calculation, and so forth were the responsibility of a large body of clerks, writing with quill and ink on parchment sheets. Imagine if you will the difficulties of overseeing such a task. Problems of collation. Lack of ease of access to much needed calculations that by necessity had to be hand searched from a vast accumulation of records. Further still and more grave the results of particular calculations had to be entrusted to the clerks guile, who in general being nothing other than lowly functionaries were inclined to produce simplistic numerical answers. Ten and Ten equals twenty to furnish with an apt example.”

THE TRAVELLER. Inset within the surface of the working-desk were a banks of movable keys, each one inscribed with the letters of the alphabet, also numbers from one to ten and yet another key this one engraved with 0. Albert by way of testing, pushed one of the keys hard down with the forefinger of his right hand, depressing it. Immediately the noise of a measured series of clicks and the whirling of cog wheels could be heard coming from the interior of the machine. Seemingly satisfied Albert continued.

ALBERT. “Let us consider a specific instance and subject it to detailed numerical examination

THE NUMBER OF SOLAR CARTS USING THE HIGHWAY ENCIRCLING THE CAPITAL ON A GIVEN DAY

You will remember our using The Solar Cart Circle Route when on our journey to the north.”

THE TRAVELLER. Indeed I had a clear recollection, mainly one of chaos and forward movement being an infrequent occurrence.

ALBERT. “The fundamental numbers are collected and dispatched to this office by persons employed by governmental cabinets to work at this and similar tasks,” showing me a parchment filled with numbers written in a neat hand “I have here before me a recorded details concerning”

I. The Number of Solar Carts Passing A Fixed Point During The Period Of One Hour: 6024

So saying he punched this exact number into the keyboard thus to enter them into the machine. “It could be inferred therefore this is a true representation of the state of traffic on this principal highway,” without waiting for any reply “Not so. The Malleable Number Engine is a subtle device. Read from off this list I will introduce the following intelligence additionally gleaned by our observer.”

II. Three Hundred and Ninety Five Solar Carts had red wheels.

III. Nine Hundred and Eighty Five Solar Carts had less than two passengers.

IV. One Thousand and Sixty Four conveyed only the driver.

V. Seven Hundred and Twenty Two were at rest for one hour or more to partake

of refreshment.

VI. Four Hundred and Twenty One were in poor mechanical order.

VII. Four Hundred and Thirteen hailed from cities other than The Capital.

VIII. It was raining hard.

He then pressed with confident fingers, one row of keys marked only with symbols the significance of which I knew not.

VIII. The period of observation was after the forenoon.

IX. The month was November.

X. A flock of ducks were seen to fly above The Highway.

XI. The Official responsible for our highways was absent inspecting the Far

North Eastern Regions of Herttach.

XII. The Person collecting these fundamental numbers wore that day new hose

that fitted badly, much to his discomfort.

THE TRAVELLER. Another key was depressed causing sounds of frantic mechanical activity within the bowels of the engine. Then as if triumphant, having completed all the necessary entries, Albert grasped the handle of a small windlass which protruded from an orifice to the side of the working desk, and gave it three brisk turns. The Malleable Number Engine responded in an instant, the sounds of its working parts reaching a well oiled crescendo, moments later to be followed by the opening of a small trap door in the space above the desk. A square of parchment covered in writing and numbers was ejected into Albert’s outstretched hands. Smilingly he read aloud:

ALBERT. “Calculation Concerning The Flow Of Solar Carts Past A Point Upon Our Principle Circular Highway During A Span Of One Hour,” Authoritatively clearing his throat “Definitive Calculation Performed On The Twenty Seventh Day of the Year of Our Succession. Total Number Of Solar Carts In Circulation Of The Highway Calculated After Considering Ameliorating Conditions And Circumstance: 744.”

THE TRAVELLER. “But these results lack veracity. They are nought but the results of guile and mechanical trickery,” I protested “How can they, when disseminated, be favourably regarded by the citizens?”

ALBERT. Smoothing the Results Parchment with contented digits. “I ask of you Sir. why should these results be doubted. Issued thus for the general information of the publick they will be taken as true account, concerning this fact there can be little doubt.

Official Statisticks are the soothing numerical balm set to comfort the brow of the citizen.

The Mnikin Blue Book. Saw LV

Your perceived necessity for absolutes is at odds with the reality of common thinking. Surely you must Sir be aware it is prejudice masquerading as opinion that shapes the behaviour and attitudes of most men. Who requires the burden of rising daily thus to consider afresh the substance, of this, the effects of that, the causes and conclusions of something else. No Sir, to rest easy and rise with tranquillity, without a head agog with disturbing thoughts and anxieties is the ambition of all but a very few men. The genius of The Malleable Number Machine is that it can provide much desired reassurance at the merest touch of few depressed metallic keys.”

THE TRAVELLER. He added it could also be utilized to arouse the brow if circumstances required it to do so. Before exiting Albert introduced me to the regular operators who each in turn were willing to impart to me some knowledge of the tasks in which they were engaged.

I. Calculations concerning the extent of Fish Catches On The River Berwell.

II. The policy document proving it was cheaper to pay Ministers Of The Ruling

Council one hundred thousand Herttach Crowns per annum instead of fifty

thousand Herttach Crowns.

III. Numerical tables proving the manufacture of silk garters for ladies of the court

had risen by no less than six hundred fold since the previous quarter day.

IV. Irrefutable Proof that citizens having to apply to the Hurry Station System had

declined in number during three months past by a factor of one thousand

percentage.

Word was brought that our Solar Cab had returned on the correct hour and was even now awaiting us in the forecourt. The Operators bade me farewell most civilly as we took our leave, Albert locking the door of The Engine Room securely behind us, informed me what I had seen, no person other than Members of the Ruling Council, were privy to. Descending the fine stairway, crystal chandeliers glinting high above our heads, we passed back through the reception-hall to reach the courtyard there to mount the Solar Cab. The Attendants assisting our departure. The rabble excluding wrought iron gates opened, their keeper saluting our exit.